How to Pull Off Eloping Without Upsetting Family
Something I have heard over and over again from couples who are considering an elopement or small wedding is that they are worried about upsetting the family. I’ve covered this topic on my blog before and I also discuss it in my latest book BIG Weddings SUCK!. It’s a hot topic, so let’s once again review how you can plan a small wedding or eloping without upsetting family.
Eloping Without Upsetting the Family
The first thing to keep in mind is that no matter what you do, there will be someone who is not happy with your choice. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but there is no point in sugar coating it! It’s best that you are prepared. The good news is, these reactions are usually short lived assuming you handle revealing your plans the right way! With that in mind, here are some of my tips for eloping without upsetting family.
Treat People With the Respect You Want From Them
One of the best tips I can give you doesn’t just apply to eloping without upsetting family – it will see you through most situations in your life! If you want people to respect your decisions, you have to offer them that same level of respect in turn. There are lots of preconceived ideas associated with eloping and many of them are negative. It is natural that some of your family – especially older generations – might be upset at your choice. It’s okay for them to feel that way and you should not minimize or invalidate their feelings. Chose your words wisely. Try saying something along the lines of, “I appreciate that you feel elopement wouldn’t be right for you, but we think this is the right option for our wedding because…” and offer some of your reasons. Eloping is not right for everyone – but neither is a big traditional wedding!
Have a Small Celebration After The Wedding
One of the big issues families have with elopements is the sense that they feel left out or excluded from your special day. Remember, these people love you and it is natural to want to celebrate your marriage with you. A great tip for eloping without upsetting the family is to plan a celebration afterwards for friends and family who could not attend. It doesn’t need to be elaborate. A BBQ or a Pot Luck in your garden can be fun without breaking the bank!
Don’t Be Sneaky!
There is something romantic about running off with your partner and getting married in secret. However, when planning an elopement without upsetting family it is best not to keep it a secret. Springing the fact that you are already married after eloping is a direct route to hurt feelings! It is fine if you don’t want to tell everyone, but at a minimum your best friends, parents and siblings should be kept in the loop!