Wedding Planning Prejudice
What is Wedding Planning Prejudice?
It is likely that you have come across news articles on a frequent basis discussing the issue of wedding vendors refusing service to couples based on religion, race or even sexual orientation. I recently read an article from Brides.com which highlighted many of these cases and the statistics mentioned were horrifying. The article states that 30% of female same-sex couples and 11% of male same-sex couples experience rejection by wedding vendors who are uncomfortable with the idea of working with them. It’s 2019 and this level of prejudice is astounding! Unfortunately, the article was not able to find statistics for people of color who were in the same situation. I believe the numbers could even be higher. My question is, when did it become okay to say someone cannot have the wedding of their dreams based on any facet of their being – color, religion, sexuality – or even financial status?
That’s right! My research showed that couples are also being discriminated against in the wedding industry based on their financial status! It is shocking to learn the number of wedding vendors referring to small weddings and elopements as ‘low end’ weddings and the couples as “working class”!
Speaking Out Against Wedding Planning Prejudice
When I started speaking with friends and associates within the wedding industry about my book. many of them warned me off! More than once, my choice to use such a provocative title and risk alienating the big players in the wedding industry comes under question! I never had a single moment of doubt! Over the years I have connected with so many wedding elopement vendors who are more than willing to welcome all couples with open arms. They are willing to work with any budget. Create custom ceremonies for any belief system. Help plan dream weddings regardless of the size! These are the people in the wedding industry that should be celebrated. I’m okay with upsetting the big wedding vendors who turn up their nose at a small guest list!
Financial Prejudice in Action
Let’s look at a real-life example of this in action, a story from one of our editors here at WhereToElope.com. Alyson had a small wedding. Just 20 guests attended the ceremony and sit down dinner. Additional guests arrived for the evening reception taking the total to around 65. The venue had no license to serve alcohol and a mobile bar service was hired. With a little over a week to go, the bar service suddenly canceled the booking! The reason being that unless catering was also booked, it would not be ‘worth their time due to the small number of guests!’ A new vendor was happy to step in despite the short notice.
Alyson learned later that the reason for the original vendor’s sudden change of heart was an offer of a much larger wedding on the same date! Rather than honor the original booking they dropped it in favor of the larger event! Sadly, this type of wedding planning prejudice is all too common!
Here’s another example from my wedding. We were turned down by the local churches because we weren’t having a ‘BIG” wedding. So, we were married in the Chapel of a Mayo Clinic Hospital where we both worked in front of a small group of family and co-workers. I’ve also heard stories from Couples who were rejected because their Floral budget wasn’t at least $10,000.
Do you have a story about wedding planning prejudice? Get in touch and share your experience with our Readers!
By Dave Westfall, the Alternative Wedding Planner